[Day: Friday, April 22nd. Time: 10:00 or thereabouts.] [It's snowing. Seriously, snow. In April. You might think it's the end of the world or something.] [Fortunately, Taki's in a nice safe, warm hotel room. With tea! Probably. There are two beds, a midget sofa, one of those little hotel tables with two chairs, and all of the standard hotel appointments.] (Shit, it's snowing here too, ah the world's going to end!) [Out of the end of the world comes new beginnings. Like a mini that's about to start!] [Mini Start.] * Satoshi knocks on the door. [There's a pause and then the sound of the door being unlocked. Taki looks up at Satoshi and asks tonelessly, "yes?"] I'd like to talk to you. * Satoshi shuffles one of his feet as he stands there. He seemed surprised by the tone. * Taki says, "okay" and then turns and steps back into the room. If he bothers to look, one of the beds has disturbed covers and there's a can of tea on the table. * Satoshi heads in and closes the door behind him. "So..." He glances around the room as he tries to figure out what to say. How are you doing? * Taki sits down in a chair and reaches for to can of tea. "I don't know." * Satoshi stands for a moment. "How do you mean? You're still sorting out how you feel?" * Taki takes a sip of tea. "I think I know, but I don't want to. And I don't feel the way I think I should." * Satoshi nods. "What do you think you know?" I should be frightened, and angry, and worried. * Taki tilts her head. "Katie hugged me, and I hardly even noticed." * Satoshi looks confused. "Really?" * Taki takes another sip of tea. "I just wanted my tea back." * Satoshi looks carefully at the can in case she's drinking "crack brand" tea. After a few seconds he satisfies himself that she's not. (That's a Haruko thought.) So... can I help? I don't know. * Taki pauses a long moment and then asks, "Do you believe what Sho said?" * Satoshi sighs. "Until we talk to Winston, I don't know what to think. But I don't trust Sho at all." * Taki nods absently. * Taki drinks more tea. Do you? I can't care. * Satoshi sighs again. "It doesn't matter to you if you die?" * Taki looks at Satoshi, and then her eyes focus on something far behind him. "It did, and then it didn't, and then I thought it did, and then I didn't, and now I don't know." I guess part of that's my fault. * Taki shrugs. "Some, but it doesn't matter." Well... it... I'm worried Taki. I don't want you to die. Thank you. I really don't know what to say. I can't, won't, take back the breakup, but I still want to be here for you. I won't ask you to then. * Satoshi looks a bit pained at that but nods. "Thank you." * Taki takes another sip of tea. "You're welcome." * Satoshi stands there awkwardly for a bit, trying to think of the next thing to do. You might have saved Eriko back there. I don't think I could have reached the gun in time. * Taki shrugs. "It needed doing." Yeah.. well. I don't think everything that needs doing gets done. * Taki tries to take another sip of tea, and then sets the can down. What's wrong? I drank all the tea. Want me to get you another one? If you want. It doesn't matter. Uh, I'll do that. * Satoshi leaves and after a few minutes returns with tea that he holds out to Taki. * Taki looks at the can for a moment and then takes it and puts it next to the first one. * Satoshi sighs and doesn't say anything for a while. * Taki also its in silence for a while and then asks, "Do you want to sit down?" Do you want me to stay? * Taki takes a long moment to answer. "It doesn't matter." * Satoshi nods sadly. "I think I'm going to get some sleep then. You probably should too." Good night. Good night Taki. * Satoshi heads out, he glances over at his ex-girlfriends one more time and then closes the door and heads to his room. * Taki reaches for the new can of tea and opens it. [Sometime later, probably on the order of twenty minutes, there's another, lighter, knock on the door.] * Taki opens the door after an even longer wait than Satoshi suffered. * Haruko is leaning against the door frame and still a bit red-faced from earlier. "Hey, Knight." Hello. * Taki doesn't move out of the doorway, and just stands there with a blank look on her face. * Haruko steps in and glances around to see if there's a stocked mini-fridge. "How are you?" * Taki moves out Haruko's way when she tries to enter. "I don't know." * Haruko scowls when she doesn't find one. "That doesn't sound good." I don't think it is. Which bed is yours? * Taki points at the one with the wrinkled sheets. "That one." * Haruko stares for a moment at the wrinkled sheets. "Makes sense." She flops on the other one, lying down with her knees and lower legs hanging off the bottom. "So, tell me about it." * Taki blinks. "The bed?" * Haruko laughs. "Funny. No, how you're feeling." * Haruko tilts her head over to look at Taki. She then brushes the hair out of her eyes. * Taki falls silent for a moment and then looks at Haruko. "I don't." * Haruko gets a look of definite concern. "Nothing?" * Taki looks down at the cans of tea on the table and then up at Haruko. "Like an echo. I think I know how I should feel, but it's far away and not real." Oh.. I see. When did it start? After Sho knock you away? * Taki sits down in one of the chairs. "After I hit the floor. Like part of me stopped and everything else kept falling." * Haruko props herself up on one elbow. "So are you going to keep trying to be active." She strains her memory for a moment and still sounds puzzled when speaks. "And nicer?" I don't know, it doesn't matter. Why not? * Haruko sits up. * Taki shrugs. "Sho, and I never changed enough." Sho we can handle with help. You never changed enough? * Taki gets a ghost of a smile on her face. "No, I never will. I think I should be terrafied, but I'm not." * Haruko stands up. "Wait, you weren't scared before?" * Taki shakes her head. "Constantly. I'm not now." But now you aren't scared that you won't change. * Haruko looks as if she's trying to do math in her head while tipsy. * Taki shakes her head again. I don't understand then. * Haruko walks over to the bathroom and gets herself a quick glass of water. She leaves the door open so she can hear Taki. * Taki takes a sip of tea. "Do you want me to tell you?" * Haruko looks over with puzzlement at Taki as she steps out of the bathroom and takes a drink. "Yes." * Taki looks down at her tea for a moment and then begins to speak, slowly and with the same lack of inflection and emotion that she's been using all night. "There is one person I'm more afraid of and hate more than Sho. Than Tenjirou. Than the fake Katie, and exactly the same as Shika." * Taki pauses to take a sip. Yeah. ::Haruko walks over and puts her glass on the table. She stands by Taki:: * Taki puts the tea down. "I gave up. If Sho's right it doesn't matter, and if he's wrong, I'll still be the same person, and I can't care anymore." * Haruko kneels down by the sitting Taki. "Can 't? I've tried. I know it's a bad thing for me to even talk about this, but I don't care enough not to. When I start to feel again, there won't be anything between me and myself but the memories of who I used to try to be. All that work, for nothing. I'm still me at the end. * Taki takes another sip of tea. Taki, you and Satoshi broke up yesterday, you cut your hair this afternoon. Change doesn't happen that quickly. * Taki closes her eyes. "I have been trying for half my life to be somebody I'm not. To make the person that I want to be real. How slow do do you think it happens?" Why are you so focused on changing who you are? * Haruko adjusts her position and seems to experience a brief bout of vertigo. Deciding not to test her reflexes at this point she leans against Taki and her chair. * Taki has a drunken Arcana on her. "Because, I'm just like Shika." Please move. * Haruko sighs and leans against the nearest bed. "What?" How are you like Shika? * Taki gives Haruko that same smile as before. "She and I care exactly the same. She'd protect her friends and burn the rest of the world to save them. Nothing they've done to anybody else in the world could change this. There are two differences between her and I. I like boys, and I can feel guilt." * Haruko laughs, bitterly. "There's another difference you know. A big one." No. * Haruko wipes her hair out of her eyes. "Well, two. First, you have better taste in friends." * Haruko then holds up one finger. * Taki shrugs. Second. She was willing to sell out Tenjirou and by extension Natsuko, in exchange for sex with me. * Haruko holds up a second finger. You thought she'd hold to that? * Haruko snickers. "Well, I guess we'll never know. If I was willing, I'd have taken payment in advance. But she's a pretty straightforward girl, our Shika. Anyways, doesn't matter. You went about it the wrong way. You can try to be nicer, you can try to do more. That's achievable. You can't just change who you are directly. You don't just become someone else." * Haruko leans over to the side and props herself up on her elbow again, this time lying on the floor. * Taki sounds slightly more definite as she repeats. "It doesn't matter any more." Mhmm... And what do you want Taki? Nothing? To protect your friends? More tea? I have enough tea. I don't know past that. No more pain? * Taki shrugs. "I can't get that. Even if I die, I'll come back in forty years to do it all again." So detachment then? Buddhism-lite? Don't want anything beyond the moment and you can't fail. (Buddhism Lite? Sounds like a beer.) (Now with 90% less desire.) If this is zen, I don't understand why anybody would want it. * Haruko sighs. "Neither do I. Why not try the real thing? I don't want to detach. I don't want to separate myself from my desires. But there are people that do and seem wise. I don't know. (That's because if Haruko separates from her desires, there's nothing left.) (Avrice, thy name is Haruko?) (Now now, she's got enough lust in there too.) I don't know if the way you are can last. But I know when I try to shut some part of myself off, it just roars back with a vengeance. If you don't want the floodgates to break someday, you should learn more. I don't know if I've shut myself in or out. So find out. ::Haruko sits up:: I've tried to guide you on a path to happiness, but I've failed. It's obvious that we don't think alike or work alike. If this is how you choose to deal with it I won't try to stop you. But I will try to help you at least learn who you are now. * Taki takes a long while to respond. "Thank you. I think." * Haruko nods and slowly sits up again. "You can decide if you want to thank me when we're done. I think we'll have some downtime tomorrow. If nothing else, someone will make us wait. Want to hit a temple? (Urge to let Taki just snark that off...rising.) (Go with it!) * Taki shakes her head. "I don't want that. Or anything else right now." Okay. Then I'll go and find out what I can. ::Haruko stands up:: You deserve some time. I'd give it to you, but I'm afraid I might not be around after this week. I don't want to wait another forty years to try again. Good night. * Haruko stands there a moment. "I see it's rather cold wherever you are Taki." (It's what she gets for having a name that means frozen.) * Taki doesn't respond. * Haruko walks over and for a moment puts a hand on Taki's shoulder, assuming the knight doesn't resist. * Taki doesn't resist, or even start. She does turn her head to look up at Haruko. (And then they kiss!) (Close :P) * Haruko, again assuming non-resistance, kisses Taki on the forehead. "If I've failed you in this incarnation, I shall do my best to teach my next incarnation to avoid my mistakes." (Aww, how cute.) (Geez, so much stock in the reincarnation thing.) (Haruko actually thinks that if Sho's freaking out this much, the whole reincarnation thing might end this cycle) (But Taki seems to believe it, so she's acting on that assumption) (Katie outright said that to Eriko and Saki. ;P) * Taki doesn't even blush. "If you want." I do. ::Haruko walks out to the door:: If I'm not back later tonight, be happy for me and don't wait up. * Taki tilts her head, and reaches for her tea. * Haruko heads out the door, shutting it behind her. ( Gee, Taki, sorry you're feeling bad and all....but...I might be getting laid tonight! So see ya!) (Only taking advantage of a traumatized person and drugging him up so he's more susceptible.) (But of course.) (Bah, she'll ask him before hand if he's okay with being seduced while drunk. If he says no, no booze for him!) ( Be happy! I never noticed before, but she doesn't listen to a word you say, does she?) ( It's an idiom!) (Wow. Haruko, you're crazy.) ( No, she doesn't. Kaede, does she?) ( Idiiiom.) ( Hm? I wasn't listening. Haruko started talking and I just sorta tuned out.) [End!]